my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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