I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
