I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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