She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
