After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
