Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize