Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
