Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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