Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
