how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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