I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
