So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize