She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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