I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you had me at cake vodka
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
