The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize