I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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