dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We named our party play list daddy issues
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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