I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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