is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
