8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize