Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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