who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
