Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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