i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
