This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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