Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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