Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
