Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize