I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
