oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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