i just wanna soil my oats bro
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
