Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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