I need help removing her.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
