My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
