Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize