dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
