don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
