"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
