she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
