When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
40s are totally the cure
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
