woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
