dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
then he tried to convert me to islam
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
