i permit you to call me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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