we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
