The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
