All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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