Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
