then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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