There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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