Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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