ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
