There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
