If i come over, it means nothing
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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