should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
