That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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